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So far Mark Mateya has created 171 blog entries.

Power of Attorney: How Much Should Be Out In The Open? (Part III)

2017-11-15T15:59:52-05:00June 6th, 2011|Power of Attorney Abuse|

When choosing a person to be her attorney in fact, our Aunt Gertrude (read prior posts to learn more about our dear Aunt Gertrude) must find the person whom she trusts. Aunt Gertrude has to be comfortable with having this person make decisions that are in her best interest.

Last time we discussed some of the checks and balances that are already in place. . .the Agent (in our case, Aunt Gertrude’s niece Milly) must take actions which are in her aunt’s best interest. The agent must be loyal to her aunt and be ready to give an accounting for all […]

Dealing With The Stress (or. . .Why Are We Such Babies?)

2017-11-15T15:59:52-05:00June 2nd, 2011|Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story|

When we have to care for our parents a change happens. A change which involves switching roles with our parents, and for many of us it is uncomfortable. Nothing in our education prepared us for this. We don’t know how to ease into this change.

With me, it’s caring for my mom. I always took direction from my mom. I looked up to her and asked her for advice. She had the place of authority in our relationship. So now that I am beginning to care for her, do our positions really change? Does this mean that I no longer look […]

When Mom Needs Help, But Won’t Accept Help.

2017-11-15T15:59:53-05:00June 1st, 2011|Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story|

So what do you when you don’t know how to move Mom forward ‘for her own good?’ I know that my family is not unique in our present situation. My brothers and I have taken all the steps that conscientious, well-informed, adult children are supposed to take. Mom reluctantly agreed to meet with the proper medical professionals, and the meeting went very well.

Now, when we could move forward, we’re once again treading water. Mom is happy where she is. She is healthy, if not active. She is in a clean environment, and its her own home. It is familiar and […]

So What’s Next?

2017-11-15T15:59:53-05:00May 20th, 2011|Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story|

You may recall that I explained that my brothers and I are dealing with our widowed mother who has become more frail in recent years, and has just celebrated her 85th birthday. We talked again about how we could do this or that, but created no specific steps. With mom in a seemingly more precarious position than ever before, what are we to do?

We all wanted to be sure that we were treating Mom fairly, but that she was safe. So do you make ‘safe’ decisions, even if it drives the person you are caring for crazy?

Like walking. You and […]

What Will Mom Think?

2017-11-15T15:59:53-05:00May 18th, 2011|Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story|

What will Mom think when we broach this subject? That’s the question my brothers and I had when we discussed having ‘the talk’ with her. The talk is, of course about having someone assist her at home. About having her spend time at the senior center. (What? Mom? A senior? Oh wait. . .she is eighty-five years old). The talk that implicitly acknowledges that she is mortal. That we cannot pretend any longer. We can’t pretend that mom will always be there to make us peanut butter sandwiches when we come in from the cold, from playing football. Those years […]

When Mom and Dad are Now in Your Care . . . My Own Story

2017-11-15T15:59:53-05:00May 16th, 2011|Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story|

I’ve helped hundreds of families make those tough decisions. My law office has a good reputation as caring professionals. We have a heart, and we are there to help.

We have worked with the family members, their financial planners, their priests and pastors. We’ve worked with accountants and even other attorneys. These decisions are tough. How do we best help Mom and Dad, and how do we gently tell them when it might not be safe to stay in their own home?

I have been very pleased with myself. I have a good handle on this ‘senior care’ thing. Then it was […]

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